he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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