i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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