Farmville is her only friend.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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