Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
