wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
