She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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