I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What drink are we having for lunch?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize