It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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