Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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