i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
