when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
