We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
