living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
where does the pee come out of this thing
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
