North Korea, Best Korea!
I looked at my own cervix.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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