Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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