bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
