you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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