If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
