If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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