Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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