i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize