Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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