508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
