Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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