Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
