I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
