Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize