i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
