the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
