I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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