just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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