My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
