Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
