Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize