They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
