dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
