I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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