i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
