His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize