I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
