I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
