oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
