He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
