My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
