And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
