Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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