Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You are a genius and a whore.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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