Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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