I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
