I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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