I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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