ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
