woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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