I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
