I'm eating all of the evidence.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
