Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
