I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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