I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
