I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
do herpes really smell.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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